MLP: Crazy Days
by BoomBro
Summary: Life in an asylum is hard unless you have the right friends.


Jason Blackhatch's Diary page 1

My shrink told me that writing would somehow help me get sane a little faster, i didn't really understand the logic behind it but meh.  
>You know what a couple years at an asylum is like? Trust me, you dont want to know the things you have to do just too survive the day. But sometimes you are lucky enough to have an reputation before you even get there, i had one, but only with the human psychos. I wouldn't say im a psycho but according to the doctors i am, still i couldn't care less about what they think. Anyway, welcome to Equestria Asylum! This is the place where they send the worst criminals in some futile attempt to make the mass-murderers and the professional assasins "nice". You may ask what i did to get in here, well i captured some people, cut them up and ate them that's it. Cannibals are rare in the asylum as they are often assasinated or brutaly beaten into a bloody pulp by some angry mob, but i got lucky to find some with the same food habits as me, unfortunatly they are not humans but i still love them as family. The first day in the asylum i met a griffon named Ontus, he was sent here after getting cought while eating his supposed girlfriend in an alleyway, when they searched his home they found the remains of roughly eighteen griffons in his fridge, he is cool but sometimes he get's these weird urges for blood, when standing on his hind legs he is slightly taller then me and being a griffon he is probably stronger too, hopefully i wont have to find out. about a month later i met The pony Pinkemina, she says she lived secretly in ponyville, fillynapping lot's and i mean LOT'S of ponies just to torture them and make cupcakes out of them, she can talk for hours describing different ways of torture in disturbing detail, first time she explained her methods i threw up on the floor, she says she got caught when she was just about to put a knife in her twin-sisters best friend. Still i wouldn't replace them even if i could, after a some years here you get used to them and eventualy grow fond of them. Heck! You guess i look at them like brother and sister, yup we are one effed up family. Shit i just realized that they are probably waiting for me at the yard! Cya later diary.<p>

XXX

As i put the book down in my drawer i thought of all the years iv'e spent in this nut house and all the stuff we've done together. I remembered that one time a gang of griffons beat the F out of me, Pinkie said that she would take care of it, 'heh' they were gone the next day and the guards say they absolutely didn't see or hear any kind of screams or blood on the walls, yea Pinkemina can be quite intimidating when she want's to be. My cell isn't very classy, just the usual concrete walls and iron door, well i did get a drawer to put some of my personal stuff in and ofcourse there's the bed but other then that the room is empty. Fun fact right here, the first asylum was built out of wood cause the ponies thought that "Wood is calming and has a friendly atmosphere.", the asylum was burned down by some pyromaniac three days after it being opened so they rebuilt it in fire-proof concrete. I opened the door and made my way to the yard, the asylum has an open-door policy so i can pretty much go outside my cell when ever i want to. I had decided to wear my blue shirt with long sleeves and some matching pants, i could choose from either green or blue so it wasn't very hard to decide, heck it would be nice to have a pair of jeans but they have a strict dress code. I moved into the yard and looked at the apple trees that grew on both sides of the path, I grabbed an apple that grew on a low branch and put it in my mouth, while chewing I looked around for Pinkie and Ontus, I could see Ontus sit on a bench next to the giant wall that seperated us from the outside but I couldn't see Pinkie anywhere. Suddendly I saw something pink in the corner of my eye, I didn't have any time to react and before i knew it the pink attacker jumped out of a tree and landed on my back and caused me to fall on my chest, she pressed a hoof against my neck and shouted.  
>"Hah got you! If i wanted you dead now it would be soooo easy!"<br>With a grunt I put my hands on the ground and lifted both me and Pinkie off the ground, when I stood up on my legs Pinkie fell off my back and landed with her flank first on the dirt. Unlike most ponies Pinkie was just creepy, her long flat hair and dark pink color made her look... well... emo, not to mention the three black balloons on her flank, she was like an crazy sadistic clown that liked to bake cupcakes out of it's own audience, yes Pinkie was quite the sadist, I had experienced it myself a couple of times, see she likes to sneak around in the asylum at night and torture some of the other prisoners in their cells but she doesn't kill them "would draw too much attention, besides it's fun to see the fear in their eye's every time we meet." she says, well one time she came into my cell when I was just lying in my bed, i asked her what she was doing here and she just calmly stated "Sorry your number came up." ... I still have the scars on my back, at least she tried to comfort me through the whole procedure being a friend and all but I could barely hear her over my own screams, did I mention the cells are completely sound-proof?  
>"You are such a wimp Jay. You should really get some mucles."<br>Pinkie told me with her cheery voice. It was true though, I didn't have much in the way of muscle mass, I would say I was like the average man, but unlike Ontus I didn't use my muscles to catch my pray, I used an air-pressure powered dart gun that fired tranquilizer darts, easy and simple.  
>"I dont need muscles i work with machines and besides i dont think any amount of muscles could save me from a pony jumping from three meters and breaking my back."<br>I said while rubbing my sore chest. I did work with machines before coming here, I worked as a mechanic/electrician, mostly fixing toasters and radios, but when i quit for the day i went into the back of the shop and continued working on my hobby, i found that building torture machines was actualy fun even though i never used them, but iv'e never told Pinkie about the whole "torture machines" part fearing what she could do with them.  
>"Hey i know what we can do! Ontus you just have to knock that guy over there out and then we can have some fun!"<br>She excitedly exclaimed while pointing at a dark brown pony on the other side of the yard. Ontus just shook his head and turned to look at me, I agreed with him, even though no one would even touch Pinkie that was not the case with us, if someone didn't like us they wouldn't think twice about killing Ontus and me. Somehow Pinkie figured out what the problem was and just said.  
>"Oh dont worry! I'll take care of anyone that messes with you ok?"<br>The phrase "take care of" caused me to shudder, Every time someone was "taken care of" they were never seen again. I looked at Ontus and he looked at me, "Fine!" said Ontus and walked up to the pony, he saw Ontuse coming and turned around to run but Pinkie had somehow sneaked up on him and stood in his way with a maniacal smile on her face, oh that smile is the smile you dont want to be directed at you, it's the smile that literally says "You are fucked", then everything went black for the poor pony. He was found barely alive the next day with several cuts and holes through his legs, if he was sane before he sure as hell wasn't now.

XXX

Jason Blackhatch page 2

I would say that Pinkie is a nice person on the inside but then I would be lying, inside she is pitch black! Still I dont feel threatened in her company, quite the opposite, I feel safer then when i'm not with her! She is protective of her friends and she knows I need lot's of it, every day she asks me if there is someone giving me truble, mostly I just say no but I think she knows i'm lying, but she takes it cool and just smiles at me (not the smile she reserves for her victims), infact there is quite a lot of people giving me truble, even ponies and griffons. There is a moment that i remember, it happened at the fifth month here during lunch, i had just taken my plate of lasagna when this big colt pony ran up to me and started yelling something about carnivores being evil and some other stuff, then just out of no where he bucked me in the leg, breaking it on several places. It was at this time that Pinkie strutted into the dining hall and saw what had happened, she was furious and her normal pink face was now red'ish in tone, she grabbed a plastic knife from some guys tray and tackled the leg-breaking pony, she stuck the knife in his eye and slowly pulled the eye out of it's socket, the pony screamed as she repeated the procedure with the other eye, when she was done she cut a major blood artery on his neck and stepped off him, she then turned to me and asked if i was okay with an honest look of concern in her eye's. That is one of my fondest memories even though i don't wana remember the whole cutting out eyes thing. Ontus is a good friend too, he doesn't talk much but i like him anyway, he is like the big brother i never had and Pinkie is like my big sister. Ontus told me that he has an disease that weakens his wing bones to such a degree that he can't fly at all, this had caused him to be bullied by the other griffons during his whole childhood and eventualy he just snapped and killed the bully that had bothered him the most, but he didn't stop at killing him no, he ate him just so he could taste the victory and the years of bullying finaly coming to an end, what he hadn't expected was that he would like the taste and want more, so that's how it started in his case. Im getting tired, it's been a long day and Pinkie said that she would have a suprise for us tomorow, it's probably just some guy she wants to have "fun" with but you dont say no to Pinkie.  
>Cya later diary that's filled with sick things.<p> 


End file.
